Day 1 of vacation

After the past couple of months that our family has had, my husband and I decided to go somewhere, just the two of us.  Sadly we were only able to go for a couple of days because of the lack of money and the fact we have 3 girls that have to stay somewhere .  At first we had decided on Hilton Head but after looking at the hotels and nearby attractions, we decided that it wasn’t the place for us.  We definitely wanted the beach so we starting looking at Tybee Island.  Neither one of us had ever been but I had always heard great things about it.  Plus, it was right next to Savannah which is one of our favorite places to go.  We decided to stay at the Desoto Beach Hotel (which was great!), found some babysitter’s, and left that Thursday.

We were so excited.  Just the thought of getting away for a couple of days was thrilling.  Not to mention we were getting to go to the beach.  I love my girls and all but sometimes you need to go alone and be able to reconnect. 

We had everything we needed for the car ride.  We had our cooler with some water and fruit and our bag of fiber bars and 100 calorie snacks.  I applauded us for actually getting healthy snacks instead of the usual candy bars, soda’s and chips.  After the uneventful but long drive through Atlanta, I offered to drive for a little bit.  Doug always wants to be the driver but I wanted to pitch in a little bit and let him rest.  For some reason I always tend to fall asleep when I’m in the car.  If I’m driving, I’m ok for a little bit, but in the passenger seat?  No way, Jose.  I’m out like a light. 

I’m driving on 16 and if you’ve ever been on that highway, it’s so boring.  The farther you get on 16 the more desolate everything becomes.  There’s hardly any where to stop and get gas or get food.  So needless to say after about an hour and a half of driving I started wriggling around in my seat.  My bladder was ready to be released……………. and I had nowhere to release it.  I’m never been one to pull over and pop and squat but it was getting to the point where I had no choice.  I looked at Doug next to me and informed him of my dilemma.  I knew if I waited too long I would be floating in my seat.  Of course Doug replies “Just pull over.”  Of course that’s easy for him to say.  It’s a lot more difficult for a girl to use the bathroom on the side of the road than a guy.  Finally I had no choice.  Thank goodness the traffic was light or I definitely would have peed in my pants.  I jerked the car over on an off ramp and jumped out.  Doug was kind enough to open the back passenger door and try to sandwich me between both doors.  I did the best I could, the whole time worrying that I was peeing all over myself and giving everyone a show as they passed and got back in the car.  I just knew someone had saw me…….Man, would that be embarrassing.  As I pulled off to continue our journey I realized I had accidentally peed on pants leg…….

Naty Bites Ella

This incident actually happened a few days ago but I’m just now getting the chance to write about it.  I was sitting at the kitchen table writing my last blog and at that point I had Ella on my knee.  She had already spent as much time as she could in her walker wandering around the house and she was ready for her mommy time.  During this time Natalie had been acting pretty well, surprisingly.  That doesn’t go without saying she had been acting perfect you see.  Every now and then we’d have to get onto her for bothering her sister or sneaking into her sister’s room to get into something she wasn’t supposed to.  When that happened she would just stay in there because she knew that if she came out with the forbidden object she would immediately get taken down.   Those moments are probably the quietest Naty ever is.

While Ella was sitting on my knee, Naty decided she would play with her sissy.  She was cooing at her, trying to make her laugh and of course Ella was complying.  She’d go at her like she was about to tickle her and grin real big.  It’s amazing what a child gets from their parents.  As I watched her do this you realize that this is what she sees us do.  Too funny……..After doing this for a few minutes she just got a little too excited.  I had my head turned looking at the computer screen and all of a sudden I heard Ella let out a blood curdling scream.  That could only mean one thing.  Naty had bitten Ella.  I immediately turn my “devil mommy” eyes on Naty and start searching Ella’s limbs.  Found it!  There on Ella’s toe were 2 HUGE teeth marks.  It was so deep I’m surprised it didn’t break the skin.  I proceeded to “discipline” Natalie and send her on her way to her daddy.  By this time he had heard the commotion and come in there to investigate.  I showed him Ella’s toe and he asked “do we need to take her to the hospital?”, concern written all over his face.  I realized he had thought that Naty had pretty much bitten off Ella’s big toe.  I then calmed down and proceeded to tell him that she hadn’t broken the skin, just made huge indention marks.  I finally calmed Ella down and decided that mommy’s computer time was up.

I gave Ella to Doug and walked outside for a breather.  I had to calm myself down from that fiasco.  As I’m walking through the door, Ella is in the floor on her belly screaming her head off and Doug is getting on to Naty.  I asked Doug what happened and he informs me that he had put Ella in the floor and as Naty was walking around in the living room she walks over to Ella and just point blank kicks her in the mouth causing her to fall over.  Oh my goodness!  Again, I direct my “devil mommy” eyes on Naty and proceed to ask her why she had done that??  She’s whimpering from her daddy’s “disciplining” and rubbing her butt.  Of course she doesn’t have an answer for me. 

Apparently she had just wanted to ……….

Naty's 2nd implant

It all started on Tuesday.  Knowing that Natalie’s surgery was the following day and that we had to be at the hospital in Atlanta  at 6, I had the great idea to let Naty take a long nap.  You see, Naty had decided to wake up EXTRA early on Tuesday morning so by noon, she was all tuckered out.   Let me explain my way of thinking.  If I let her sleep for an extended amount of time, she would go to sleep late and sleep on the way to the hospital.  She couldn’t have anything to eat or drink past midnight and I didn’t want her waking up wanting milk.

By 11:45, Natalie was still up and going strong.  She always goes to sleep with her milk so by this time I’m really regretting my initial decision.  I’m lying in the bed dozing in and out and she’s wandering around the bedroom trying to find things to get into.  Finally… she decides to give it up.  By this time it’s 12 and I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to do.  Do I let her scream her head off until she falls asleep? Or do I disobey the Dr.’s orders let her have milk until she finally falls asleep?  I had to be quick though…….I finally decided that my nerves could not handle the screaming.  I’m sure the doctor won’t mind a mere 25 minutes.  Right??

That morning went off without a hitch.  Except for the fact that we’re always running late……Natalie slept most of the way there and when we arrived she woke up in a great mood.  We walked up to the surgical floor, me, Doug, and my sister Misty.  Our pastor was going to meet us there around 7:30.  This week we didn’t have quite the number of bags like last week.  Last week we had a HUGE bag of snacks, that I might add we didn’t consume, and everything we THOUGHT we might need.  As we trudged through the double doors our stomach had flocks of butterflies flying around.  I honestly felt like I was going to puke.  Not a good feeling at all.  We retrieved our normal sitting area and set up camp.  Finally around 6:45 we got called back.  Let’s just say Natalie was not going without a fight.  Can I also add that by this time the waiting room was FULL of families ready to send their kids back for some type of surgery.  As soon as Doug and I get up to take Naty back, she starts screaming.  Let me try to give you some descriptive words so you can imagine how it was……..You know the movie “Dumb and Dumber”?  Where they make “the most annoying sound in the world”?  Yep, that’s my Naty boo.  She had her implant on at this point and she knows how to make heads turn by making this sound.  Boy, did she make the heads turn.  I pick her up as best as I can (imagine a huge fish like a tuna that you are trying to carry in your arms).  As I walk hastily towards the nurse I feel everyone’s eyes on us.  All you hear is Natalie’s banshee cry.  (I realized later that she had kicked her shoe off, something she likes to do).

The next hour was filled with nurses and doctors coming in to prod.  Let me say that Naty.does.not.like.prodding.  As soon as the surgeon walked through the door, Natalie got a terrified look on her face and tried to climb up my body.  The surgeon is great I assure you but all Naty remembers is having to hold her down so he could look in her ears.  She’s VERY smart like that.  He comes in and marks the left side of her face with a huge Y, meaning yes for this side (insurance purposes) and leaves the room.  Finally, the good stuff comes……….. joy  juice. It only took about 10-15 minutes before she had the full effect.  Natalie’s funny anyways, but mix it with the joy juice and she’s hilarious.  The next 30 minutes were filled with laughter as we watched Naty sway to and fro and give us the biggest grins.  But sadly that too had to come to an end.

It was finally time to take her back.  We gave her a big kiss and said a final prayer that God would keep her safe and that his will be done and we sat her down on the bed.  No matter how drugged she was, she was perfectly aware that she was about to leave her mommy and daddy.  They started to wheel her down the hallway pretending that the bed was a train and I could see the corner of her mouth turned up.  She was grinning.  At that point I couldn’t really cry.  I knew that she was in God’s hands and that whatever happened , happened.

After about an hour and a half of sitting in the waiting room we received our first call.  They had just opened her up and were starting the surgery.  First part down.

1 hour later we received the second phone call.  The surgery was well under way and so far there hadn’t been any complications.  I asked the nurse if Dr. Todd had come upon any inflammation and she informed me……..she didn’t know.  Well that answer was comforting.  I figured she would at least be able to tell me a yay or nay.  Anyway………back to waiting.

Finally, the last phone call.  The words that come out of her mouth were the best news ever.  “The implant is in” she informed us.  Yippee!!!!  I couldn’t help but break out into a huge grin.  I gave a big thumbs up to the rest of the gang which consisted of Doug, my sister Misty, and our wonderful pastor Larry.  We were overjoyed.

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly.  After a couple of hours, they moved her out of recovery into a regular room on the 4^th floor.  When we got up there, they had already got up there with Natalie.  As I was leaning over the bed studying her beautiful face her eyes started to flutter.  She must have noticed it was her mommy and she started to cry out.  I patted her belly and started talking to her, trying to comfort her.  She drifted back off to sleep and I started to look her over.  She had a huge bandage over her left ear (which we were accustomed to) and she had diapers over her hands.  Boxing gloves is what we called them.  She must have woken up fighting.  Typical Naty.  Her face looked a little swollen and pale.  She almost looked like a wax figurine.  She had an IV in her hand and wires hooked up to her chest.  But………she was OK. 

Later that evening, she woke up long enough to eat her some jello and drink 2 cartons of apple juice and then fell back asleep.  Of course, mommy had to sleep right next to her.  Thank goodness this week it was a big bed and not a crib like Ella’s.  We slept pretty soundless through the night and got woken up the next morning by the nurses coming in to check on her.  I felt awful sorry for the nurses though, because if you’ve ever slept over night in a hospital, you don’t look that appealing the next morning.  In fact, you look like total butt.  Anyway, one of the dr.’s came in to take her bandage off and I held my breath.  It looked just like the other ear had. Half her beautiful hair missing and a 6 inch scar.  I didn’t worry too much and I drifted back off to sleep.  After Natalie awoke, we ordered breakfast and waited for it to come.  Naty kept rubbing her head trying to figure out why there was no hair so we decided to let her look in the mirror.  When we walked up to it, I turned her head so that she could see why it felt so different.  She cringed and whimpered as she touched her head.  She was heartbroken.  After a few minutes of studying herself, she looked at me and signed Ella.  She knew that her head looked just like Ella’s.  That action made tears pop into our eyes as we realized that she was going to be just fine.

We left that afternoon and headed home to our other wonderful bundles of joy………………….

 

What a day.........that's all I got to say. My baby girl Ella, who is 10 1/2 months old had cochlear implant surgery yesterday. Sadly is was not a success. When they had already cut her open they discovered inflammation in her mastoid. If the surgeon had went ahead with the surgery there was a big chance that there would be certain complications. This was a MAJOR disappointment and huge letdown. But sadly this was not the first time this has happened.

December of 09 we took our middle daughter Natalie to get her first implant. At this time this was all new to us. We went in that morning understanding that it was a possibility but never dreaming that it would happen to us. After an hour of the doctors being back there with our precious child we received a call from the nurse. She informed us that the surgeon had found inflammation in her middle ear. Instead of receiving the cochlear implant, our life saving device, all we received was a huge 6 inch scar and a loss of beautiful, brown curly hair. We finally got her healed and back in the operating room 6 months later, 5 days after her 2nd birthday. This time it was a success and we have seen her grow ever since. But every good thing comes with a sacrifice. We drive 67 miles, one way, 4 days a week to the best school in the world, The Atlanta Speech School. Why drive that far you ask? Because there is no school like it. My deaf child with an implant is surrounded by other kids her age who have the same issues. This school is our family. And when you have something that special, you do anything you can to keep it.

Now back to Ella......You ask "How can you have 2 children that are deaf?" Well........ it is caused from a genetic disorder called connexin 26. Both parents have to carry the gene in order to have a child with hearing loss. Thank goodness though that it is non-syndromic, meaning that deafness is the only disability they will have. That was definitely a relief.

After a long night in the hospital we are finally at home. I couldn't have done it without my wonderful husband and loving sister. My husband slept on the floor last night while I was in the crib with Ella and my sister was on the couch. Needless to say we woke up veeeerrryyyy sore. I honestly don't know how my husband made it on the floor, but........he's a loving and devoted father.

When baby Ella woke up this morning they removed the bandage and it wasn't all that shocking......... with Natalie it was. Ella wasn't blessed with as much hair as Naty so thank goodness they didn't have to remove much. We tried to sit Ella up and I think her head was feeling a little funny (go figure) so she kept wobbling. Her face was a little swollen but everything comes with a price.

We were finally released around 10:30 and by the time we got home it was around noon. When my sister got Ella out of the car seat she noticed that she was a little warm. I just figured that it was from her being bundled up in the car seat. After sitting with her for about 20 minutes I noticed that she wasn't cooling down. I went and retrieved the thermometer and put it under her arm. 99.....100........101.......10
2.6, under her arm........By this time I was starting to panic a little. Now I am pretty much a calm person but the only thing I could think was "my baby just had major surgery and now she's running a fever......that can only mean an infection." My baby was too young though, Natalie never did this, what do I do! All these things were rushing through my head at once. I immediately remember the great nurse on the 4th floor at CHOA (Children's Healthcare of Atlanta). I'll cal her! Well after looking at ALL the discharge papers, I couldn't find a number, by this time the aggravation was starting to build. I finally just called the main number and after several attempts, finally reached the nurse's station on the 4th floor. But guess what...........Courtney was gone to lunch :( I spoke with another nurse and she told me I needed to call the Dr. immediately. I got off the phone with her and immediately called the Dr.'s nurse. Well guess what..........she was out to lunch. How could this be? How can everyone that I needed to talk to go to lunch?? Doesn't ANYONE ever stay in case of emergencies?? During this whole time we gave her some tylenol in hopes that it would start bringing the fever down. I decided to call her pediatrician to see what I needed to do and guess what......OUT TO LUNCH! By this time I was in tears. I could only think what if this is something that would be fatal. What if the infection has spread to her brain, what if I don't get her to the hospital in the next 30 minutes something really bad could happen.........After speaking to my sister I finally decided to call the first nurse back, well I couldn't remember how I had gotten to her in the first place so I just poured my heart out to the first person I talked to. After about 10 minutes she finally reached Dr. Todd's nurse. Finally! After speaking with her about my concerns she told me just to call the pediatrician and get her in immediately. I called and was told to be there in an hour and a half (We live 45 min away). Before I left I checked her temp and it had gone down to 101.4 so better........but not where I would like it to be. By the time we had gotten to the pediatrician her fever had gone and she was starting to act like normal. Whew............All that worrying for nothing. The pediatrician got her in immediately because they know the situation and didn't want her to be exposed to anything yucky and checked her over. Everything seemed to be fine. They decided to give her a rocefin shot which is an antibiotic. It gets in her system a lot sooner than if we had given her the oral antibiotic. The rocefin has to be given in 3 different dosages so we have to go back Sat. and Mon. for the rest of the antibiotic but.........you'll do anything for your kids. As long as they need me, I'll be there.

We are taking Natalie back to the pediatrician tomorrow because she is scheduled to have her 2nd implant next Wed and she has developed a little cough. The surgeon wants me to get her checked out before Wed because if the pediatrician thinks that she won't be able to get through surgery we'll have to reschedule. I'm hoping that it's something that can be cleared through antibiotics but at the same time, I don't want my child to go through another surgery with no implant. I pray that God's will will be done and that he'll give us peace in whatever he has planned for us.

In all this time we also have a wonderful 10 year old daughter. She has had to watch her parents give her sisters a little bit more attention than her and boy........that's painful. As a mother, you try to give all your kids the individual attention that they deserve but at the same time as a mother with special needs kids, it's very difficult. Naty and Ella do not get treated any different but......they are both babies. They tend to need a little more attention. Cayli has been great through it all. You couldn't ask for a better big sister.

For now, we smile and we hold our heads up because we are not in control. We get through everything through faith. As my pastor has told us, God DOES give us more than we can handle. He wants us to have faith in him and learn to cling to him through these difficult times.

I think I have shared as much as I can right now. Hopefully my next blog will not be as long but I have had this on my mind for a year now. Lots of things to say.

God bless to all!

Naty's Trip to the Doctor

      

Let me start off by saying that taking Natalie to the Dr. is like trying to take a gorilla to the vet.  Not a very fun time…….and of course I was the lucky one who got to do the job.  The bad thing is that when you take your child to the dr. you tend to forget how bad the last time was.  I vaguely remember saying “I’m never doing this again!  I’m gonna beat her butt!  Why me?!”  But vaguely………..It couldn’t be that bad………….or could it?

The day started off pretty good.  We got up and got dressed…..Natalie was excited that she was actually getting to go somewhere.  You see, Naty has been quarantined for about a month now and every time we start to go somewhere she is very heartbroken when she realizes that sadly she can’t go. 

The trip was pretty uneventful on the way to the dr.  Of course she wants this and that and of course this and that have to be in places that I can’t reach, especially going down the road.  So half the trip was spent with her arguing with me on which magazine she wanted to read.  We arrive to the dr. just in time and the good Lord blesses us with a close parking space (which doesn’t happen very often).  When we walk in, there is no one in the waiting room which is great because with Naty having surgery on Wednesday I didn’t want her catching anything.  There’s always some child who is running around wiping his nose and rubbing it on the chairs, or loves to come up to your child and touch every hair on his or hers head.  While we were sitting there waiting, there was a couple of families that came in and sat down waiting for their dr.  I was praying the whole time that their child wasn’t “one of those”.  They finally called us back and Naty grabs her pocketbook and jacket and follows the nurse to the room.  All the nurses are happy to see her because they just adore her.  I mean……..who wouldn’t??  They brought her out to weigh her and check her pulse and she was just so grown up.  You could see the accomplished look in her face that said “Look what I did!”  While sitting in the room, Naty had to get out my wallet full of pictures and spread them out on the table.  This is a ritual for her.  I honestly think it calms her.  After going through every picture and discussing who was in them, the Dr. made her presence.  You could see the hesitation in Naty’s eyes but she made a conscious effort  to act like a big girl.  The Dr. checks her lungs and her nose and throat and informs me that she just has allergy problems.  This is very reassuring for us considering that this visit was the deciding factor on surgery or no surgery.  She tells me that she is fully confident that she would do great for surgery.  We decide to go ahead and put her on amoxicillin just as a precautionary measure. 

Upon leaving the room, Naty starts pointing to her chest.  I just grin and try to shoo her forward but Natalie was very persistent.  She started getting louder and pounding at her chest.  Of course I’m trying to rack my brain to figure out what she is wanting when the Dr says “You think she wants a sticker?"  That’s brilliant!  That’s exactly what she’s wanting!  The Dr. hands her a few stickers and Natalie looks like she’s on top of the world.  She gives us a HUGE grin and proudly puts her stickers in her pocketbook.

Whew, I thought leaving the Dr.’s office.  This turned out to be a great visit.  No tears.  No whimpers.  No hitting.  Just a great day!

Talk about speaking too soon……………..

As we were about to turn the corner toward the car, she decides she wants to go into the parking deck.  I’m not really sure what her plan was, but she knew that’s what she wanted to do.  So what do you think she does when I try to guide her to the car?  She drops to her knees and plants herself on the ground.  All I could think of was how I didn’t want her to get her pants dirty, so I’m holding her up by her arms and looking around trying to catch “those” glimpses from other parents.  Just as she’s about to go flying, I pretty much have to throw her in the seat……………her fault.  She was not about to lose this battle yet though.  She starts acting like she’s having a convulsion and I have to hold her belly down in order to buckle her in.  She makes one final swipe and ends up clawing me on the chin…………At this point I’m wondering how many cameras are pointed at my car.  How fast do you think the cops would get to me after they catch me beating her on camera.  Instead of acting on this thought though, I calmly shut the door and walk around to the driver’s side.  At this point my anger is seething inside of me and wishing for an escape but………..the good Lord is keeping it at bay.  I back out and start to drive off, the whole time Naty is in the back seat screaming her head off and cursing me for all it’s worth.  Even though Natalie is not able to say much right now, I knew EXACTLY what she was telling me.  Her hands were moving every which way and she was shaking that curly head of hers and just screaming like she was giving me down the road. 

After about 20 minutes of this behavior she remembers her sucker in her pocketbook that the receptionist had given her.  I breathe a sigh of relief when she puts her energy into the sucker.  But not for long…………she suddenly remembers that I am  such an evil mother and takes her sucker out to start screaming at me some more.  All of a sudden……….I felt something hit my head.  Now what do you think that was??? The dreaded sucker!!  She had thrown the sucker at me and of course of all places to hit it lands in my hair.  I couldn’t believe it!  I didn’t know whether to laugh or turn around and beat her tail.  I instead pried it out of my hair and calmly rolled the window down and tossed it out.  Littering, I know.  Of course after I threw her sucker out the window she continued to give me down the road.

Ahhhh,  the joys of motherhood.